How Self-Advocacy Creates Opportunities

The path of least resistance is not where your opportunities lie. In executive leadership training programs, one lesson stands out: If you take only what’s given to you, you teach others that they don’t need to anticipate your needs or responses. The truth is, advocating for yourself or your team not only creates an immediate impact, but it also sets the stage for future benefits.

Are You the Path of Least Resistance? Early in my career, I learned this lesson the hard way, but it was a valuable experience that taught me a lot about self-advocacy and leadership. When you don’t push beyond what’s presented, others will see you as the path of least resistance. On the other hand, those who consistently advocate for themselves and their teams—people like my peer Dan—teach others to negotiate with their interests in mind, even when they aren’t in the room.

The Story of the Corner Office In my book, I write about a pivotal moment in my career when I learned this lesson. It was during a time when having an office was a symbol of stature and influence.

"Tell them you want the corner office," my coach said. He was adamant that I advocate for myself.

I had just been given an office upgrade with a beautiful view, an executive desk, a conference table, and a war room area. I felt appreciated for my contributions, so why should I complain? My peer, Dan, had received a nearly identical office—except his was at the end of the hall, giving him the coveted corner office.

At first, I didn’t want to push for the corner office. I was grateful for the recognition, but my coach insisted. I finally made my case to my boss, who was surprised and puzzled by my request. It felt out of character for me to negotiate something like this, and her reaction made me want to retreat. But I pushed forward and told her I wanted the corner office, even though it was uncomfortable.

Her response? "It’s not about you—we just wanted Dan further from the COO." It was a flimsy excuse, but I let it go. I didn’t want to seem ungrateful.

When I told my coach about the conversation, he asked me why I accepted such a weak explanation. He then said something that changed my perspective: "Do you know why they gave Dan the corner office? Because they knew if they didn’t, he’d raise a fuss. You were the path of least resistance."

Lessons from Dan: Ask, and You Shall Receive Dan taught me an important lesson about executive resilience and the power of asking. He asked for things I wouldn’t have even considered, like parking spaces, spa credits, and increased commissions based on other departments' revenue pulls. The one that floored me was when he asked that I report to him so he could benefit from my team’s revenue. He played the odds by asking a lot and getting yes most of the time.

Dan’s approach wasn’t just about being bold—it was about creating a culture where others anticipated his needs before he even asked. His relentless self-advocacy made an impact, and people began negotiating with his interests in mind, even when he wasn’t in the room. This lesson is key to leadership pipeline development and strategic leadership.

Why Self-Advocacy Matters in Leadership: When you regularly advocate for yourself and your team, people take notice. You teach them to anticipate your needs and consider your position before they make decisions. This is particularly important in C-suite development strategies, where high-stakes decisions are often made in "the meeting before the meeting," when you're not there to represent yourself.

When to Advocate for Yourself: There’s a fine balance between being assertive and being perceived as difficult, so knowing when to advocate is crucial. Here are some key moments when self-advocacy can have the biggest impact:

• Annual Reviews: When you're discussing your performance, it’s crucial to highlight your goals and ask for the promotion or raise you deserve. This is a great opportunity to set yourself up for success and create momentum for future opportunities.
• Project Assignments: When you're assigned a project that goes beyond your typical responsibilities, use it as an opportunity to ask for additional resources or professional development.
• Professional Development Opportunities: If you see others around you getting opportunities for growth, ask what you need to do to be considered for similar experiences, like executive coaching services.

Framing Your Ask: When advocating for yourself, it's important to frame your request thoughtfully. Here are some examples to help guide you:

• During an Annual Review:
  “I appreciate the feedback and recognition in this review. I’ve been working toward the next promotion and believe I’m ready to take that step. Can we discuss the timeline and what I need to achieve to make that happen? I believe I can hit those milestones within the next three months.”
• Professional Development Opportunities:
  “I’ve noticed that others have had the opportunity to work with an executive coach. What steps do I need to take to be considered for similar professional development opportunities?”
• Unsatisfactory Product or Service:
  “I’ve been a loyal customer of this company for years, and I’ve always trusted the quality of your products. I’m surprised by the issue with this purchase. What can be done to resolve this, and what have you offered to other customers in similar situations?”

Conclusion: Being the path of least resistance may feel comfortable, but it won’t propel you forward. Self-advocacy is essential for executive leadership growth. When you push beyond the "no" or the first option presented, you teach others that you’re a force to be considered. This not only benefits you but also sets a precedent for your team.

By advocating for yourself, you create a wake of future benefits, and you’ll be represented in discussions even when you’re not in the room. Don’t be the path of least resistance—create a culture where your needs and the needs of your team are always part of the conversation.

Takeaway: Think about the moments where you’ve accepted what was given without asking for more. What could you have done differently? Begin advocating for yourself today and build the skill to frame your ask confidently and effectively.