The Subtle Power of Framing to Get to Agreement
Ever say something reasonable and get shut down anyway? It might not be what you said—it might be how you said it.
Influence isn't about force. It's about framing. The most persuasive people don’t push harder—they speak smarter.
Here’s how to say it right so others are more likely to say yes:
1. Start with shared goals.
People resist when they feel pressured. But when they hear alignment, they lean in. Instead of “I need you to…” try “Let’s make sure we’re on track to…” It turns the ask into a we, not a me.
2. Use open, collaborative language.
Phrases like:
- “Would it be possible if…”
- “What would it take to…”
- “How can we make this work?”
…soften the edge without weakening your stance.
3. Frame the benefit clearly.
People say yes more easily when they know what’s in it for them—or the team. Tie your ask to value: “If we can finalize this by Friday, it helps us stay ahead of the deadline.”
4. Avoid ultimatums—offer options.
Nothing triggers resistance like feeling boxed in. Instead of:
- “This is the only way,”
Try: - “Here are a couple of paths we could take—what’s your take?”
Giving people agency creates buy-in.
5. Mind your tone.
Even the right words can backfire with the wrong delivery. Confidence should never sound like condescension. Check your tone for respect and calm, especially under stress.
6. End with clarity, not vagueness.
Say:
- “So we’ll move forward with Plan A by Wednesday?”
…not: - “Okay, I guess that could work.”
Clarity confirms commitment. Vagueness invites delay.
Words shape perception—and perception shapes decisions. When your message feels collaborative, clear, and constructive, “yes” isn’t just more likely. It feels like the natural next step.
Susie Tomenchok
Susie Tomenchok is a seasoned negotiation expert and professional development coach dedicated to empowering individuals with the negotiation know-how they need to advance in both their professional and personal lives. With years of experience in high-stakes negotiations and a passion for helping others, Susie provides valuable insights and actionable guidance through her blog. Her content focuses on enhancing communication, building strong networks, and mastering negotiation tactics.